Why Avoiding (or Over-Indulging in) Nourishment Creates Limitation
One of the best things we can do for our body and mind is to take a moment to pause after we’ve accomplished something and soak in the satisfaction of it.
It’s called the Nourishment phase in Hakomi’s Sensitivity Cycle, a topic that I’ve studied and taught my clients about extensively and written about in the past. The best way for the body to move and grow in a healthy way is to continually cycle through all four aspects of the Sensitivity Cycle – Insight, Effective Action, Nourishment, and Rest/Relaxation.
Each of us has places within this cycle we thrive, and others we avoid, do poorly, or don’t even know exist, blocking this healthy flow and leading to a variety of problems that manifest either physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.
While each phase of the cycle has its own potential challenges, I want to focus specifically on Nourishment here. To review, Nourishment comes directly after Action; it’s that feel-good moment after we’ve finished something that allows us to process that, yes, we’ve done a good job. Think about eating the exact right thing when you’re extremely hungry. Nourishment is the moment that comes after the bite when you savor how good it tastes and how it feels immediately replenishing.
Without actively engaging the Nourishment phase of the cycle, we miss the chance for our body and mind to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We miss integrating the lessons and experience of our actions (good or bad) and gaining a deeper understanding of the impact of what we do. Aiming directly at Nourishment is a direct route to building greater skillfulness for our future actions.
I see countless examples of a less-than-optimal relationship with Nourishment, and it doesn’t always look the way you think it might.
When the Nourishment phase is not actively developed, it’s usually due to one of two challenges:
Simply not seeing that it’s available. Certain human systems have developed a limited ability to feel satisfaction. Someone in this camp is likely experiencing a Nourishment barrier that has some version of “I have to do everything myself” or “there’s no support or nourishment available” as a significant mindset.
They may have a more active response of self-reliance and independence, handling everything on their own and being reluctant to ask for help even if it’s just a simple ask away (raising my hand here as a card-carrying member of the Self-Reliant Club!). They may simply keep themselves too busy to take the time to soak in the satisfaction of achievement. Or there might be a more passive, less busy-looking challenge of feeling low-energy or deflated and of the mindset that there’s just no help or satisfaction available.
Either way is organized around the same perspective. Nourishment isn’t available because they either can’t perceive or take in what’s available.
Being a bliss junkie. Now, this one can be tricky. So much of our lives and what we value is centered on the pursuit of happiness and satisfaction. So many people struggle with finding happiness that those of us that are able to find it and really live within it can perceive that it’s the logical end point to personal development.
This Nourishment challenge is basically spending too much time in this phase and not moving on. It’s the equivalent of someone who only works, or only chills on the couch.
These individuals are the opposite of the self-sufficient profile. They are bliss seekers, always looking to stay in a perpetual state of happiness (sounds weird to consider this as less-than-optimal, right?). Their tendency is to overindulge and they’re prone to getting addicted to the feel-good state. I see this show up a lot in spiritual seekers, psychedelic explorers, festival-goers, and even world travelers. They’re often seeking to live in a state of constant euphoria, and hold an element of not wanting to come down, let something find it’s conclusion, and move forward into the world again.
While feeling good, well, feels good, this Nourishment barrier presents itself when a person resists leaving this state. Sometimes, it’s harmless and we all deserve to live here for a while. But if we get stuck here it can begin to have ramifications on finances, relationships, and the work of being human. A regular, tangible manifestation of this shows up in relationships when people have difficulty sticking around longer than the honeymoon phase.
If you identify with one of these Nourishment barriers, it’s important first to build awareness around this set of patterns, and then to experiment with ways to move skillfully through this phase.
For you self-sufficient individuals who don’t pause for a moment of nourishment or just struggle to see it, the question to ask is “where is support or satisfaction available that I may not be seeing?” More often than not, the feeling of nourishment or support not being available is an internal barrier not rooted in reality. These folks must understand that making a small practice out of finding ways to feel nourished – whether it’s in the help of a friend or in savoring the rich taste of something delicious – will be an effort they’ll need to experiment with over and over.
For you bliss junkies, the awareness question to ask is, “…and now what?” What can you now do with this energized state you’ve attained? This one is a bit more difficult to address because these folks aren’t necessarily in a place of pain or lack to drive them into deeper inquiry. But there does need to be a moment of reflection around what’s being avoided or what experiences (or even responsibilities) they’re missing out on by seeking a constant state of bliss.
If this resonates with you, and you think you may be facing one of these Nourishment challenges in your own life, reach out and fire away with questions! I’d love to provide some ideas to set you on a more harmonious, balanced, and self-aware path.